Stages
by aquadulcis
Summary: There has been a catastrophic event at Hellsing and Alucard is not coping.


**Stages**

Integra Wingates Hellsing was a woman of astounding fortitude and interesting virtue. She had weathered the unpredictable political climate of her country since her teens and had been actively fighting the undead for as long. There was little in the world that made her uncomfortable because she was a born leader, a "doer" if you will. This was the first time since her short childhood that she had felt even vaguely awkward.

Her best soldier was respectfully standing in front of her desk, waiting for orders. His performance had been stellar in recent weeks. He no longer exhibited his forays away from decorum. His duties were carried out with a notable lack of collateral damage. Alucard had become efficient. This was a strangely unwelcome change.

She was surprised to hear herself sigh.

"Alucard…"

"Yes, Master."

"I am most impressed with the way you currently dispatch orders."

He waited patiently, which was incredibly disturbing, for her to continue.

"In fact, I would normally commend you. I would, if I was sure that your behaviour was borne of altruism."

"You believe I have a vendetta?"

He did not even bother to raise a wry eyebrow at her appraisal of him. There were no mocking laughs, no smirks nor hellhounds. Integra did not know the man, the vampire standing before her. Pity played no part in her life, it was a wasted emotion, yet she felt it for him. A respectful Alucard was one that had fallen apart. She was worried about the possible outcomes that could occur if she placed him in a real battle. She couldn't afford to lose him now, especially now. She made herself stern.

"You are fighting like a freak. If you do not change your approach there will be casualties on our side. I cannot allow that to happen for the sake of a cleaner path."

"Master?"

"Alucard, I order you to go see her."

* * *

She had expected him to be incredulous. She was adept at pushing his buttons when required and she had been sure that her parting remark would be seen as an accusation. Sadly, he attempted to deny her. She would have pressed the issue further if she hadn't received word regarding Iscariot. Anderson was in Brittain and she had no choice but to send Alucard to intercept him. At best she hoped to have him back in pieces.

* * *

Alucard returned late evening, appearing dazed. Integra received a letter via express post that began with insults to her parentage and sexuality but ended with a condolence. The next day flowers arrived in the post. It was another unexpected outcome but one she had grown to understand. It was interesting, the way the world warped during a period of stress.

She went to visit Seras that evening and talked to her at length about these current events. In the quiet of the basement Integra felt some peace.

* * *

Vampires were _strange_ creatures, so it seemed natural to see them exhibiting _strange_ behaviour. They did not breathe unless they were talking. Newer vampires, particularly those that were synthetically made, were unnaturally still. It was a good technique when attempting to unnerve an adversary but was otherwise telling. Only the inanimate or the dead rested in such a way. The oddest thing about Seras was that she was _not_ strange. She was an animated young woman. If you didn't know that she drank blood in order to survive you would find her very dear.

Many people thought she was dear anyway.

* * *

Integra kept finding silver bullets in the hallway.

* * *

Missions within the Hellsing Organisation could be vigorous. It wasn't unheard of for a soldier to go missing or to be taken by the enemy. Integra would do all within her power, often more, to ensure the return of her men. This sometimes meant sending Alucard. He was not the optimum choice for dealing with the living but he could cover a lot of ground… and alternate dimensions.

Even though he had been sent out on the recovery mission, it was Walter that found their lost officer. She'd been drained of blood but had retained her shape. When they attempted to reanimate her they had found holy symbols on her tongue. The pain must have been excruciating, her fingers were twisted beyond reason and her cheeks were stained with pink tears. Integra had never seen anything like it in her ancestor's journals. She clinically judged it to be an experimental technique.

Alucard disgustedly told her to get up. He was visibly angry when she did not. Walter quickly reminded him that Seras would have done it, had it been within her power. She always did as her master asked. They were the right words; they halted what would have been an unsightly scene. The elderly retainers' actions still had a price, Alucard disappeared in a huff and Integra did not see him again for a week. She elected not to call him in that time.

* * *

It was bizarre, looking upon the corpse of a vampire. Seras had not been affected by rigor mortis. Her face was pale and fresh once they washed her. She looked as though she was going to wake up but they had no hope of that happening. They could not undo what had been done, they did not know how. In a moment of unreserved sentimentality, Integra placed two heavy coins on Seras' eyelids. She kissed her forehead and closed her coffin. She left her in a room close to the stairs, so the others could pay their respects.

* * *

Integra tried calling Alucard a week after the incident with Anderson but he was reluctant to answer her. She was relieved by his return to more typical behaviour. She decided to go look for him herself.

* * *

She found him with Seras. He had removed the coffin lid and was touching her shoulder, as gentle as he had ever been. He had taken off his glasses and she was surprised to see his face burdened. He moved his hand to cup her face. It was a gesture he never would have allowed during her un-life.

"She was a child."

His voice was soft and low in the dark room. Shocking. He had never spoken this way before and would not after. Integra felt the need to reply.

"She was a good soldier, even though she was young."

"Those of my blood should last a long time."

There was a note of self-reproach in his voice. Disgust normally reserved for Catholics and freaks. With hands that shook imperceptibly he lifted her. It seemed wrong that she should be so limp. She should have been yawning and throwing her legs over the side of her coffin. It shouldn't have felt like a coffin, it should have felt like her bed.

"She did not go easily, although that is little consolation when you've lost a child."

If he had ever had cause to be angry it was now. Nobody made such presumptions about him, not even her. Instead he curled around her more, holding her to his breast.

"She was a baby."

"Alucard, don't judge her so harshly."

She barely heard the next words, whispered softly into Seras' hair.

"My little girl."

She left him but not before raising a hand to his shoulder. He nodded in deference and then resumed his grief.

* * *

I like sappy... I wrote this because I believe there are two main ways in which Alucard would respond to Seras' death. One would be to not care entirely, which doesn't make for much of a story. The other option inspired what I have written here. This was inspired by the mangaverse, where Alucard does care for Seras platonically and mourns when people he cared for die (no spoilers but this includes enemies). The more manga I read, the less I see any romantic relationships developing, hence the lack of social interaction between Integra and Alucard.


End file.
